Leather and Hyde: Gathering Thoughts

Leather and Hyde

Occasions
Gathering Thoughts
by Debra Hyde

Fetish Magic

Since July, a tangle of yarn has rested near my computer, keeping me company as I write. It's grown to be something of a fetish item; fetish not in the sexual sense, but in the primitive, magical sense, as a thing of special meaning and power. How did it gain its power? Through fellowship and inspiration.

In July, I joined a circle of fellow kinky folk. We were a diverse group of

For people new to BDSM, the gathering showed that, by virtue of our numbers, people need not go through life alone in their SM.

professional dominants, transsexual and transgendered men, heterosexual dominants and submissives, and together we passed the ball of yarn back and forth among us, each of us keeping a pinch of it as we did. Soon, the yarn formed a web that held us together. All around us, a dozen or so other groups spun their own webs, some of them with groups are diverse as ours, some less so, some more so.

Once we'd spun our webs, another ball of yarn came our way. We took hold of its string and passed the ball on. Eventually, that yarn connected all the groups together.

The Gathering of the Tribes had convened, and its fetish circle was complete.

Hosted by The Society, the gathering was a historic event, drawing upwards of 120 people from twenty-some BDSM groups that spanned the Northern Atlantic coast. From Washington D.C. to Maine, all orientations were represented -- gay, lesbian, bisexual, heterosexual, and TG/TS individuals.

The event, quite possibly a first for the New England region, was historic for its size and breath of representation. "I have never seen a gathering of gay and straight organizations come together to get to know each other," observed Master Harley, The Society's founder and an Old Guard Master. In addressing attendees, he urged people from various groups to honor each other, to cherish their liberty, and to provide mutual support. Then, he encouraged groups to stand and identify themselves.

For well over an hour, representatives stood and described their groups, members, purposes, and activities. For people new to BDSM, the gathering showed that, by virtue of our numbers, people need not go through life alone in their SM. For people long familiar with BDSM, the gathering reminded them just how much the SM community has changed and developed. Master Charles, The Society's facilitator, recalled the days of passwords, keys, and secret symbols of SM. Although those days have special meaning for him, he said, "I don't want to go back to that."

It seems no one else did either, and the gathering inspired people to act. MOB, a women's SM group, and the Rhode Island Enforcers, a gay and lesbian leather group, hope to plan shared events. A new group, Haven, formed and -- much like biker clubs that hold toy drives -- hopes to change public perception through good deed doing.

Avenues. It was all about exploring avenues as we pursue a common journey.

Broadening My Journey

But what did the gathering mean to me? At first, I came away from the event feeling overwhelmed by what I had witnessed, and the answer was anything but clear to me.

One thing was certain, though. Whatever method of "tribe building" I chose to do, it would have to be true to my own spirit and calling. That meant I'd have to do it through my writing. But how? Certainly this column is one way. Indeed, one of the reasons I write Leather and Hyde is to record our history, whether it's through events like The Gathering of the Tribes or through my personal experiences. But I suspected this column alone would not do the spirit of the tribes justice.

What would?

What, indeed. As it was, the answer took all Summer to reveal itself to me.

Discoveries Emerge

At July's Fetish Flea in Boston, I discovered that MOB -- Massachusetts Orgasmic Bitches -- had published its first chapbook, Edgewords, and I was elated to discover MOB's small press efforts. You see, I happened upon Edgewords

Maybe, just maybe... I can reduce the complacency I see in the community towards the creative voices that speak and write about our passions.

during a personally discouraging moment, when I'd started researching my last column about the fall of SM fiction. Suddenly, I had reason to hope.

And MOB had given me a cause.

Although the chapbook's first edition sold out quickly, MOB intends to reprint it with expanded contents. When they do, I plan to hawk the publication everywhere I go. It's not every day an SM group publishes its own works; in fact, it's quite rare these days, and I want to do my part in making MOB Books a success. And maybe, just maybe, If I lend a hand here, I can reduce the complacency I see in the community towards the creative voices that speak and write about our passions.

Things snowballed from there.

As I considered how to educate the BDSM community about the fragile state of SM erotica, a valiant voice came to my aid. Gloria Brame, author of Different Loving, Domina: The Sextopians, and the soon-to-be-released Come Hither: A Common Sense Guide to Kinky Sex, graciously shared her thoughts about the state of SM publishing affairs. You'll see the results of that interview in my next column.

A couple of weeks later, another idea crystallized for me: change the slant of my web site from a personal page to weblog -- and not just any weblog, but a sex-positive weblog. If you aren't familiar with weblogs, they're an all-in-one home page, link directory, diary, and personal commentary, and they can explore a range of topics or can center on one topic. For my weblog, I decided to seek out online news and magazine stories about sexuality, cover all orientations and include as much SM/leather news as possible. That way, I might generate a subtle acceptance of SM sex to readers who might otherwise have little contact with the subject.

I'm happy to report my effort, Pursed Lips, has drawn attention. Last month, a good 400 people sought out the page from non-SM filters and I know other bloggers (yup, that's what we call ourselves) read my diary. Positive feedback has come back to me and bloggers have even published pointers to my news stories, a sure sign that Pursed Lips is resonating with them. As hoped, SM is reaching a largely vanilla audience, and in a positive way.

Future Hopes

I hope that, in time, I'll find additional ways to serve the SM community. Right now, I can't see beyond my weblog, my fiction, and Leather and Hyde to see how that might happen. I'm in a "can't see the forest for the trees" mode.

But I do know that the leaves are changing, and soon they'll drop to the ground. The view will be clearer and maybe then I'll see something that I hadn't noticed before. Until then, I can take heart that The Gathering of the Tribes inspired me to act and that it continues to influence my daily actions.

And to think, it all started with a ball of yarn.

About the Author

Debra Hyde is a mostly submissive switch who lives in New England with her husband, two children, three cats, and a dog. She says she is "well-owned and well-loved" by a very special Master, and shares a unique triangle with him and her somewhat submissive husband.

"When England Calls," one of Debra's short stories, graces the pages of the recently published Mammoth Book of Historical Erotica. She is currently working on a number of others, as well as the Great American Leather Novel. Her BDSM work has been previously published on the Internet by Leather Online and Section 12, but Leather and Hyde was her first regular column, originally hosted by About.com's BDSM site and relocated here with her kind permission.

Debra also maintains a personal Weblog called Pursed Lips and can be reached at 75222.2150@compuserve.com... but no junk mail or "Wannas," please.